Score: 8

"Forgot PEELZ"

submission: The Forbidden Forest

date: March 18, 2009

Therefore no 10.

Kidding, Its not a L4D parody so that would be silly, but it was really short but very sexy, need both for a 10.

Thanks dad

Score: 10

"Never had a faster 5 minutes in my life."

submission: Madness Aggregation

date: March 15, 2009

Seemed like it was 30 seconds long, thats how amazing it was.

As always crazy ass violence, silky smooth animation. A little zoomed out which was cool but its going to make me have to go back and watch it over and over to observe all the motions. The scene where the movie ends became one big lag spike from the get go so had to low quality that, don't know why that of all places was a huge lag spike when the car chase ran fine.

Sad that Deimos he had a cool name and reminded me of the scout. I am not sure what I think about the new hank, I'm sure he will grow on me when hes doing his massacre thing but right now he looked kinda silly. You'll find a way to make him bad ass though.

Auditor was still sex and so was the giant guy.

Can't think of anything else because hard to review something that isn't flawed and I can't just sit and say how sexy it was.

Glad you finally got it done. Now get on TF2 and lets sentry gun some of these dumbass scouts.

Score: 2

"I don't know how they assign medals to games."

submission: Fear Unlimited Issue2

date: March 14, 2009

But if an NG staff member programmed them in and had played this game, shame on them.

The only reason I think people are playing this is because of the achievements, me being one of them.

This game is a shining example of over complexity. There are so many moves and so many attacks and variables and upgrades and I'm sure if I programmed the game I would know how to use these to my advantage but none of them really helped the fact that some enemies cannot be killed without hiding and shooting them which gets very boring. Another reason you should use guns is because every attack moves you forward by about a twentieth of the level, one combo puts you and the enemy too the wall so not only can you not manuver, half of the characters arent visible so you just jam the attack button, maybe hit up or down a few times, then after your arm gets tired, land. Wait about 1 second because any button presses after an attack don't work until you have stood still long enough for the bad guy to hit you a few times.

The gun play was original in a sword game but the fact that bullets don't stop these people but spinning what looks like two semicircles around completely kill thems them and makes everyone fly around seems stupid. And I don't mean to say that this should be realistic by anymeans but some things shouldn't be tampered with. If you wanted us to use the swords make them worth it. When you and two enemies are fighting you don't know if you are hurting them or they are hurting you because you have already disappeared off the side of the screen. Then if they knock you on your ass you don't know if you are down there so you sit quietly while the AI waits for you to get up.

Thats another issue. I tried the game on normal and noticed how slowly the enemies moved but when they reached me had no trouble killing me because I can't move when being attacked and cant defend so I had to run away and shoot them. So i took it to the lowest difficulty and they moved even slower but still held me in place while i punched the keyboard trying to tell my guy to run away from the badguys with swords knowing that I have a gun.

This is too complex for a flash game, theres too many things that happen, you need a 3D environment if you want this kind of action, its won't work, even on a sidescroller with a y-axis like Castle Crashers. I beat the first level of this on mortal, got a B some how although I had like a sliver of health left and basically use guns the entire time.

Simplify it, make it work, make it fun.

Now that that part is done I am going to point out how you should have play tested this because it is full of errors and glitches, I put this down here so if they are fixed my review isn't a giant rant about problems that were fixed.

-Character spawns under map every few games.
-Bad guys have no animation, not sure if this is a glitch or if you really wanted them to tween across the screen and have swords appear when they can hit you.
-Weapon switching causes issues with being able to move, if you switch weapons and try to attack you get stuck until an enemy knocks you away
-Your wall kick type thing on the first level is off screen so you just disappear and cant move instead of being able to see your character on the wall.
-There was no save button before the second level, so I had to X-out and lose my little point things because I couldn't save till I beat the 2nd level which I can't do because of what I have just said.
-There is no warning you are being hurt, no sounds, nothing. I hope this is a glitch because otherwise you should have just given the character one hit kills so they don't get pissed at how fast they get die when they start with a big nice health bar.
-Targeting system with guns doesn't work or doesn't prioritize. I wanted to shoot the baddies that could blow up if they touched me and I targeted the guy way in the back instead. Then had to run away and try to retarget.
-After attacks, cant move for about 2 seconds unless i want to attack again.

That's it, I am out of characters.

Score: 7

"Wow"

submission: Madness kill 1 short

date: March 12, 2009

If you are going to put an overlay on the screen, SPELL CHECK IT.

Also put the music on an event sound so it doesn't repeat during the scene change. And the madness guys have two feet and why did he get shot for no reason and why is this sentence like 20 words long?

Good effort, but pay more attention and test your movie a few more times before submitting.

Score: 10

"I'm so ashamed..."

submission: Portal Defenders

date: March 12, 2009

I actually spent hours and hours getting all the damn medals...gah.

The game is great theres not much to say that hasn't already been repeated as of now 1838 times excluding dicks who bitch about difficulty which is all I am going to mention.

The difficulty, although very uncomfortably hard at first, makes the game work. Probably half the time i spent playing this game I hadn't won the game, after you win, you get a better grasp on how to play it. The speedy characters were a bother to me but when I did win with them I had a boat load of health left.

The difficulty also makes you better, something rarely games do. Most games you kind of get better at the concept of just that game. Meatboy you get better at meatboy, but this game you completely get better at this whole genre of beat-um ups. I was never great at these games and still am not but after spending so many damn hours trying to out smart a 3rd dimension I feel a lot better at this kind of game, I can't say I love it but I don't detest it as much, and this game teaches you to exploit the main problem with these games, problem being my way of putting it.

Just to mention one glitch, Stamper's death animation messes up alot of you kill him during a juggle, the death sound will play but he will land as if you just ended a combo and after sitting for a moment, about the time it takes for him to get up, then it plays his flipover death animation. This didn't happen with any other bosses so it stuck out.

Also the zombies just tipping over after Wadolf dies is kinda lame but I know when you programmed the game they weren't supposed to so I understand why they don't do a dieing animation or something.

Great game, I've loved all of your games and they keep getting better, although I still suck at most of them due to I am only good at shooting things in the head with a mouse.

Score: 9

"Pretty fun"

submission: Baby Destruction

date: March 10, 2009

Birthcontrol allowed for huge combos of punching babies multiple times, i think i got a -10 babies at one point. Also when 15 were falling at once the baseball bat was hilarious.

Good game, silly and addicting, first try i got 180

Score: 10

"You have a gift man."

submission: Saturday Morning Watchmen

date: March 6, 2009

You are the only animator here in my opinion who can accurately represent the old cartoon style of the past. Your flashes feel like they are made with technicolor thats how close they seem.

Flash smoothes things out so much and some how you can make it look like those old rough cartoons like Looney Toons and so forth.

The voices also perfectly match the 80's style announcers for cartoon shows.

Chucks New Tux was breathtaking with how cartoon-like it was, which in my opinion made it a must have for the top 5 of 2008 and low and behold you took the prize for it.

Great work again!

Score: 2

"No, no, no!"

submission: Girlchan in Paradise Ep1

date: March 6, 2009

I don't like it, it had no point. It poked fun at the way anime shows work but that was it, using that stupid parody the entire time gave the feeling of oh yeah haha but the fact that it was the only thing you used to carry the entire weight of the movie really ruined it.

I was never a fan of anime because I am not Japanese, but I understand that people of any race can enjoy other cultures. I have seen a few shows of anime when I was a kid, and although I enjoyed them a little, the things this flash points out always bugged me. And thats what this flash is, a large representation of what is stupid about anime.

I don't see any promise in the idea, you made your point about the anime naming system, stupid arguements, weird chatter about skills and stuff, but there weren't any punchlines, visual things to enjoy, or anything other then a constant stream of things that are annoying. I watched the entire thing hoping for it to get better but there was nothing. You made it lengthy but cut down on the expression on peoples faces and lip-syncing, one guy's dialogue was all from a single frame with one lip movement repeated over and over.

I like your style of drawing, its a cross between anime and americanized cartooning, its a great style, but it has to be backed up with either something that is amazing to watch, like an action scene or a effect or something, instead of doing that you go with comedy which I think is better. This really had no comedy, I didn't laugh at the screen like I am accustomed to with your flashes.

As I watched I got the feeling of yeah, thats pretty accurate on the way anime is, and waited for that certain pun to be over and start a new premise or something else but it continued on for how ever long this movie is.

I realise you put alot of effort into this, the music was all nice and voices were nice but it had to be funny or something that made you go damn, thats beautiful. And it gave neither, it was just a single, punctuated joke that really in its core is something you dislike, so making an entire movie about the thing you hate seems rediculous and a massive waste of effort.

I am glad you are branching out from video game parodies because they can only go so far but cutting into parody of anime doesn't seem like a good leap that basically dies with this flash.

I really hope you go a different direction because I know you could do far better than this.

Score: 10

"One of my favorites"

submission: Harry The Harlequin Fetus

date: March 6, 2009

One of my favorite flashes, and one of my favorite animators. I cannot comprehend how you make the fluidity and shaking/pulsing objects you create. It seems like that would take forever to animate. I also liked how the woman became a harlequin as she gave birth.

The underlying creepyness of the way everything runs together makes it less unnerving and more surreal, like the painting of the melting clocks. It all seems kind of kiddie style but then melded with a more dark plot and a huge undercurrent of distaste for the commercialist world we live in and the corruption of the things people do.

Basically, if I could animate like you, I would never stop, I cannot stop watching your movies, when I watch them they match my insane thoughts. Basically a great link of my thoughts into animation. I have always wanted to try to animate the hurricane of thoughts in my mind and basically you do it for me, although in a more clever fashion and definatly a more beautiful style, pissed you didn't even make the top 5 for flashes of the year, I think by effort or breathtaking it was better then Chuck's New Tux, which was still a pretty damn good flash.

You sadly go unnoticed with your flashes, people vote low because they don't know what you have to go through to animate something. You deserve more portal awards then most of the chumps who are on the top 50.

Also I still cannot figure out how to pronounce your name. I know what it is, that mythical animal thing, but it still irks me.

Keep these things coming sir.

Score: 10

"Didn't match my predictions for the winners"

submission: 2nd Annual Tank Awards

date: March 6, 2009

But I love being surprised and it's nice some of the more unique and non-series animations won. Sure FPA was a sequel but it wasn't a long running thing like Blockhead or Madness.

I enjoyed Tom hearing what Tom does after gabbing off at awards ceremonies.

The over-the-top audience type thing was great aswell.